If I only had six months left to live then my dream of living and dying in France would be blown out of the water because I wouldn't be able to learn French in time. But I could spend a month there, then a month in England where I would meet my friend Chris and her family, and include Scotland and Ireland. The United Kingdom could actually take me two months.
Then, I'd visit all the cities in the US that I've always wanted to see, and try to narrow it down to a two week visit to each one. I would die one very happy traveler and accept my death with a satisfied smile on my face.

Since my recent (massive) weightloss I don't feel like I have to hide behind baggy tops, but wear gently loose fitting t's with a V-neck to accent my newly exposed collar bones.
I do the same with pants, not baggy, but tight enough to accent a smaller butt, and during this hot summer, knee length shorts have made me once again proud of my legs.
Like I joked about in my other entry, I do try to minimize exposing my upper arms, as they will require surgery to remove the batwings, but I am NOT complaining.

Top Five Health Care Reform Lies—and How to Fight Back
Lie #1: President Obama wants to euthanize your grandma!!!

The truth: These accusations—of "death panels" and forced euthanasia—are, of course, flatly untrue. As an article from the Associated Press puts it: "No 'death panel' in health care bill."4 What's the real deal? Reform legislation includes a provision, supported by the AARP, to offer senior citizens access to a professional medical counselor who will provide them with information on preparing a living will and other issues facing older Americans.


Lie #2: Democrats are going to outlaw private insurance and force you into a government plan!!!

The truth: With reform, choices will increase, not decrease. Obama's reform plans will create a health insurance exchange, a one-stop shopping marketplace for affordable, high-quality insurance options.6 Included in the exchange is the public health insurance option—a nationwide plan with a broad network of providers—that will operate alongside private insurance companies, injecting competition into the market to drive quality up and costs down.7

If you're happy with your coverage and doctors, you can keep them.8 But the new public plan will expand choices to millions of businesses or individuals who choose to opt into it, including many who simply can't afford health care now.


Lie #3: President Obama wants to implement Soviet-style rationing!!!


The truth: Health care reform will expand access to high-quality health insurance, and give individuals, families, and businesses more choices for coverage. Right now, big corporations decide whether to give you coverage, what doctors you get to see, and whether a particular procedure or medicine is covered—that is rationed care. And a big part of reform is to stop that.


Health care reform will do away with some of the most nefarious aspects of this rationing: discrimination for pre-existing conditions, insurers that cancel coverage when you get sick, gender discrimination, and lifetime and yearly limits on coverage.9 And outside of that, as noted above, reform will increase insurance options, not force anyone into a rationed situation.


Lie #4: Obama is secretly plotting to cut senior citizens' Medicare benefits!!!

The truth: Health care reform plans will not reduce Medicare benefits.10 Reform includes savings from Medicare that are unrelated to patient care—in fact, the savings comes from cutting billions of dollars in overpayments to insurance companies and eliminating waste, fraud, and abuse.11

Lie #5: Obama's health care plan will bankrupt America!!!

The truth: We need health care reform now in order to prevent bankruptcy—to control spiraling costs that affect individuals, families, small businesses, and the American economy.

Right now, we spend more than $2 trillion dollars a year on health care.12 The average family premium is projected to rise to over $22,000 in the next decade13—and each year, nearly a million people face bankruptcy because of medical expenses.14 Reform, with an affordable, high-quality public option that can spur competition, is necessary to bring down skyrocketing costs. Also, President Obama's reform plans would be fully paid for over 10 years and not add a penny to the deficit.15

After being morbidly obese for more years than I want to admit, the health issues that the obesity created in my body became the rallying cry for me to take responsibility for what I'd been doing to myself.
I had Lap-Band surgery on September 3, 2008, the day I now call "my new birthday". Today is August 13, 2009 and in 21 days I will be celebrating my "first birthday". I'm within my goal.
You'd expect me to have said, "my goal weight", but weightloss was not my true goal, regaining my health was, and remains so. At that time the morbid obesity was destroying my body through diabetes, and high blood pressure. Yes, I do look much better, and for esthetic reasons, some plastic surgery is in my future. 57 year old skin doesn't have the elasticity of 20, 30, or even 40 year old skin. And whatever this is that is hanging off the backs of my upper arms I fear will one day catch a brisk wind and I may take flight.
But seriously, I do look much younger than I did a year ago, and am thrilled that my husband, my sons,and my friends are proud of my renewed health and appearance. But, again, appearance was not my end goal. Seeing my world was.

My awakening to the fact that I was truly destroying my life was the day that, during a routine eye exam, a bleed was found in my right eye. My eye doctor explained what this meant and sent me directly to my PCP to have my blood pressure checked. It was very high, I left with a prescription. Then, after that day I also became more diligent in keeping tabs on my blood sugar numbers as well, all were very high. The eye doctor had said that it was one or the other, or both the blood pressure and the diabetes that had caused the possibly blinding eye bleed.
With an insurance policy that excluded bariatric surgery I felt as if I'd been handed a ticking time bomb regarding my vision. I asked my husband to please find a way to pay for Lap-Band surgery to save my eyesight. I told him I would rather die than go blind. I was not concerned at the time with the way I looked, but was terrified of loosing my vison, and I knew that bariatric surgery would be the quickest way to insure that weightloss and health improvement would be steady and sure.
I have to be able to see because I am an (aspiring) artist, and also hope to hold and look into the eyes of grandbabies some day.
My husband agreed to my request and I made my first appointment with the surgeon's office. Almost one year later I know that, aside from our two amazingly wonderful sons, this was the most perfect gift my dear husband could've give me, and I will forever be grateful to him. He says I can pay him back by not regaining one ounce of this weight.
He actually likes looking at me again in a way he hasn't for years. And I like it when he does.
My life is good, and getting better. On Sept 3, 2009 I will be one year post surgery. I hope you will celebrate with me.

If I could travel back in time I would tell my younger self NOT to major in interior design, and NOT to drop out. To do photography and or painting, get the degree at the proper age, and trust in myself to FLY!
But then I now try to avoid the 'shoulda, woulda, coulda' of life. I'm too old for that.

Giving away a million dollars seems like it would be a breeze, but after I make a list of all the people I'd like to give some of it to, I fear my list would be longer than the money would stretch. To begin, I'd give what is needed to a young man, who's sister we met on Sat collecting money to pay for her brother's lung transplant. Her brother has been moved to #2 on the waiting list, since his case is so serious, now all he needs is the cash. There are always organ donors, although sadly, never enough.

The thing that bothers me about this is that in countries that have universal health care, this young man would only be awaiting a doner, not having to collect money on a street corner to pay for his surgery.

I'd divide the rest into fourths:
Half to be divided between my sons.

One fourth to go to an organization (or several) that is (are)trying to save this planet for our children's future.

The last amout to be divided between a number of people who I believe have gotten a rotten bit of luck, and could genuinely use a hand to regain their sense of their worth and rise above the conditions into which they've been force by circumstances beyond their control.

President Obama has said something to the effect that the current situation in Iran should allow for peaceful protest without fear of opression.
The first thing that popped into my mind was this photo:



During the Vietnam War students were protesting peacefully on the campus of Kent State University when government troops were called in to keep order. No student was armed, and yet, when some equally young and innocent young gun carrying soldiers were spooked, bullets were fired into the protesting crowd and the result was death of unarmed students.

I would have hoped, in my dilusional dreamworld, that he might've used our mistakes as an example of how not to handle the unarmed protest that is going on in Iran today. Put down the weapons and listen, as our government should've done. Afterall, 'we' have eventually, although halfheartedly, admitted that Vietnam was a terrible mistake and our protestors during that time were right all along.
Or, when one newsperson was so persistent in asking what will the consequences be (from us?) for Iraq, he might've said that we have no right to place consequences on another country when we haven't managed yet, to properly handle how we deal with our own citizen protests?
Or have we?

A government that does not listen to it's people is doomed to repeat it's mistakes.

The boys both called on Saturday to tell me that they wanted to get their dad, for Father's Day, 'one of those water catching things'. The first call came from Adam who is on a mountain in Colorado with the best friends and all the girlfriends and wives camping and hiking.
He was quoting his brother when he said "water catching thing" and it took me a minute to realize that he was talking about RAIN BARRELS.
I told him his dad was actually outside that very minute setting up the four that he'd already bought. (our house has 6 down spouts and we need two more barrels to get the most rain collection). Adam mistook my words as dismissal of their (last minute notice) plan. So I immmediately told him that their sharing the cost of one barrel would be extremely helpful and short of more bluebird houses would be the very thing their dad would enjoy the most this year. I told him I'd call his brother right away and tell him too. Adam was relieved.

I didn'd have to call Dan, as soon as Adam's call ended the phone was ringing with Dan's call. He had only his usual 3 and 1/2 minutes to talk,and immedialtely mentioned 'the water catching things' I was still laughing about that, and reminded him of their proper name and said that if he and his brother wanted to share the cost of one barrel I was sure their dad would be pleased but to also get a card to put the check in. He assurred me that he would.

The rain barrels we got were from Sam's Club. They are plastic but have, at a distance, a look of a light terra cotta and have a nice curvy shape to them and blend in well with our green roofed white country looking, porched, house.

Speaking of outdoors, Mike's been having a ball playing 'catch-up' with all the gardening. Most of what's been done was a kind of 'plant it here and we'll put it where it belongs next year' kind of late start mentality. But he did get three of 8 raised beds built and planted.


One rain barrel in place. There will be something planted to hide the cement blocks.




Yellow squash in the garden.


Red sitting in Mike's lap on the riding mower. Red likes to help wherever he can.



Mike on the ladder adjusting the down spout to flow into the rain barrel, saving the planet one gallon of water at a time.

I'm misplaced my cell phone and it's dead so I can't call it to locate it. dayum!

("If I only had a brain!" - scarecrow, Wizard of Oz)

When I called finally, the nice Dr Jenny said she'd been leaving messages for me all day, so she took a deep breath and rattled off everything for me quickly.

Bailey would eat an entire can of her K/D food if they'd let her but they're rationing it out a quarter to a half can at a time. She's enjoying being held and going outside to pee, (not sure how often peeing is happening) and she even seems happy, her tail wagging etc. She did throw up once today, though.

They're still administering the meds to clear toxins from her kidneys and she's staying overnight again tonight.

Tomorrow will be another blood draw to check levels of things and then more decisions will be made, but she'll probably come home tomorrow. Not sure if she'll go back soon, yet.

Don't have much else to report, other than she SEEMS to be getting better because of the IV fluids, but how long before we have to do it again remains to be seen. Dr Jenny said that she may have to teach me how to administer the fluids at home. THAT bothers me a little. (when I told 'annoying niece' she immediately declared that I would not be able to do this. Annoying niece has no clue of my mothering capabilities, I am GOOD!

In Tunica Co, Mississippi there are quite a few casinos. After a long fight for/against providing gambling in the area the final solution kept them off the actual earth. The solution has large barges tethered to it in the Mississippi River. Parking was allowed since, I suppose, no legal gambling occurs near all those SUV's.

While I'm sure these places for gambling pay taxes to Tunica Co there are no visible benefits to the people of the county that I have seen. Just on the news tonight there was talk of the children having nothing to do in the summer. The adults were begging for a community center and equipment for their children to have a safe place to go and be enriched rather than resort to getting themselves in trouble, which, as we all know, is what kids do when there is nothing for them in the summer break between school years.

Why can't the casinos support the natives of the commuinity that allowed them to set up their business there? What kind of hardship would it be on their cash intake to build something for these kids?

People make me so angry sometime.

We dropped her off there this morning after all that vomiting and diarrhea yesterday. The vet called me later in the day to give me the scoop.
Her BUN and Creatinine(sp?) numbers are off the charts, meaning she's in renal failure, again. We'd kind of gotten that under a bit of control with the hormones but I guess yesterday the proverbial poo hit the fan for our little girl. (it sure hit all over my house!)
She said that the vomiting and diarrhea(sp?) were her body's way of trying to expell the toxins that were in her kidneys. They have her on iv fluids to flush out as much of the toxins as they can, and she will continue on the hormones and diet for kidney disease.

The doc said that she's seen dogs bounce back from this sort of thing, and then have to go through this procedure several times before their bodies couldn't handle it anymore. So, there's some hope that we will have her for a while longer, but there's no cure for this.
I don't want her to ever again suffer, the way she was yesterday, but then I don't want to tell them to put her down either. I'm going to let the vet be our guide, she gives options, but isn't demanding in anyway. She was a huge comfort for me today when she'd call and talk to me while I was out running errands.
I called once more before the clinic closed, the girl who answered the phone said that they'd just taken Bailey outside to see if she would pee and she did. AND they'd been spending a lot of time with her between clients coming in for various things. They told me to call tomorrow at 7:30 am to see how she did during the night, and I'm going to go by there and visit her for a while and then, maybe she can come home. Altough I wnat her to be feeling better before she does.

My sons now know, and are naturally upset, especially Adam, because Bailey is his dog, officially. If he could have her in NY he would, but I believe he's grateful that she's here and we're dealing with it for him. I know I am, I'd hate not to be with her during this last part of her precious life.

I may have already posted this, but I am so excited it's worth telling twice.

We have tickets to (finally) see WICKED on June 24th. We never could get tickets when in NYC so I told Mike that if a touring company ever came here...and he interrupted with, YES, Pam, we will definitely go see WICKED if it comes to Memphis town.

ladies I found something that i posted a link to on FB that has to do with MSG and it's link to children and Aspergers and the Autism Spectrum. I hope you can find it and take a look.
I know you both are serious about what you feed your children and this may be info you are already armed with, but just in case it's not, I wanted to make sure you saw it

Pam

PS you can also follow this link below:

http://www.msgtruth.org/

This morning I stepped out on the deck to see a small butterfly on the shoe mat. He didn't seem to be afraid or bothered by my eventual stepping out onto the mat with my bare feet, but continued to flutter about. Eventually he rested on my foot (to my controlled excitement) and walked around a bit.
Thankfully niether of the dogs noticed him so he stayed for what, to me, seemed like many minutes, but was probably less that one. Then red came to see why I was standing still and when he put his nose to the butterfly it flew away. It was a very brave little thing.
It gave me such a feeling of being in love with the outdoors and all the creatures that come through our yard, either on foot or on wing, that I cannot wait to get our fence built so I can enjoy it in peace and so the dogs don't run off and bother someone almost everytime they go outside.
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Also, we noticed over the weekend that we have a nesting set of bluebirds in one of the bluebird houses. You should've seen the look of pure joy on Mike's face. He was like a littl boy. I just wish he'd get out all his old camera equipment and get pack into photography.
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When I went out to get the mail today there were a pair of hawks soaring overhead. I got a little worried since both dogs had followed me out, and while Red would give them a hard time, Bailey would freeze in fright and let them do with her what they wanted. I called and called the dogs to come to me but they kept wandering off to visit the Golden Retriver down the street. I left Red to his own devices as I grabbed Bailey up and took her inside.
Before I could get back out to check on the RedMan he was coming back in the door so all is good. Maybe they are too big for these smaller brown hawks to try to consider a food source.
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We also got our beef delivery today. Seeing all that meat in my freezer kind of gave me pause. Half of this is for another member of the co-op, but still, it's a lot of red meat, which technically isn't all that good for us. But, Mike told me he knew we would take a year to eat what we're keeping and at the end of this year we'll make a decision on whether we want to do it agian. In the meantime, between steak dinners, we'll be continuing with the raw smoothies, and experimenting with vegan recipes, thanks to Raw_Julie.

Of all my favorite books the one I would recommend other read is "To Kill A Mockingbird" by Harper Lee. I'm sure I'm not alone in choosing this particular book for this question, it's a classic in every sense of the word.
It speaks of family, in both the traditional sense and a broader one that includes community. Both can involve conflict and this brilliantly written book speaks of community conflict in a way that first pulls the reader into the story, but leaves us with lessons that we remember for a lifetime.
I was born in and have lived my entire life in the south. This book affected me, showed me how life between the white and black community should be. There's no 'we and they' there is only us.
God is watching.

I was a guest to the premire of DIVINE SECRETS OF THE YAYA SISTERHOOD in Los Angeles, and the party afterward. While my hostess told me specifically not to take photos or walk up to 'famous people' and act like a fool (I think those were her words) she did introduce me to the producer of the movie, Bonnie Bruckhiemer (and I think I just misspelled her name, sorry Ms B) She was a delightful lady, and very kind to take the time to shake my hand.

From a distance I saw many celebrities, but, as instructed I kept my distance. Although I did, do a mini-stalk of James Garner around the party grounds. I kept my distance and he never knew I was there. lol

It's 3 a.m. and I think I'm excited.

The ladies with whom I've been neighbors for the past 23 years are all meeting for lunch tomorrow! (today)

I feel like I haven't seen them in forever. And, if you count 'forever' in months, then it's been close to forever, or at least since before we moved out here last May. 9 months, right?

I ran into one of them at McDonalds in December when I was heading to the airport to pick Dan up for his Christmas visit, but we didn't really get to talk much. I just hope the one who gets snarky about my politics is not in a political mood, because I want to enjoy this.

This is my official 'debut' since my surgery...afterall, we women really do all this stuff for our women friends, right? And they have been there through several yo-yo diets with me. I know they'll be happy that this one has been, so far, successful. Only two of us has ever had weight issues worth moaning about.

I also have an early appt to get my teeth cleaned. I forgot about the one I had scheduled on Monday, and the gal who does the callling, called me chewed me out but good! But I deserved it. She said I will have to pay for the times I didn't make it, and I told her I understood, just as long as they don't kick me out of their practice. He is, afterall, the all time best dentist I have ever had who's still in practice. Even thought I hate having to drive so far to see him.

Dogs...Bailey is still peeing when she's asleep and I may get her some diapers while I'm out. she's ruined my comforter, I think. But I got an Email about all the things that can be done with peroxide and it can be used to get urine odor out of fabrics etc. So I'm going to give that a try, did I say this already - about 10 times? I have a tendency to repeat myself.
...Red, is settling down a bit. He's still bullying Bailey, but she's learning to give as good as she gets. But still, she's old and it's not right to put her through that. He loves the new toys I got him! He's so funny. The only problem is that Mike can't remember to take Bailey in his arms with him when he goes out to the greenhouse, but he'll call for Red to run after him. Poor Bailey always crys when he leaves her behind. I fear she may start grieving and her health will suffer even more.
Mike can be so stupid and thoughtless sometimes. He has no sense of how we women think and feel. ;-0

I finally got out of the house yesterday!

I bought the rest of my supplies for my watercolor class. So far the supplies have cost more than the class the kids paid for, but I'm not complaining. They knew I needed a kickstart to get back into what feeds my soul.
Mike met me for dinner and by the time I got back home I was exhausted, slept late today and am still feeling drained. One needs to create energy to have energy, and all I've done for the past month of sickness is to sit on my large behind in front of thie laptop. I should've been walking Red with a scarf tied around my face against the cold air.

Also, I got my hair cut into a bob. Cute-ish.

It was shoulder length, but I'd lost so much of it since the surgery that it was stringy and ugly. So, the new shorter bouncier bob looks good. I just need to use make-up every now and then. I look so pale!
I love my hairdresser. I've known her since she was 15. She told me to get on Facebook where she'd found old friends from those days when we first all met at church. (Mike and I were assistants to the youth minister and she was one of 'our kids'.) If you saw her you'd think she is a model...she's just so naturally beautiful, inside and out. She's dating again, I could tell there was a lift in her spirit. Men fall in love with her, but she has yet to find one she wants to marry, so she breaks it off.

Mike's going to take a pic of me and the bob later today. I'll post it along with one of the dogs.


Dan called with good news about his path toward Med School. I cannot explain it, because it's confusing, but basically, he was accepted to a very high end Physician's Assistant program, which he won't accept, but by their accepting him it gives him assurance that he's on the correct path for his future. (this is the convoluted way my child thinks - lol)
Adam, haven't heard from...I think I've pissed him off, yet again. LOL He'll get over whatever it is.

Love to the LJFriends!

The one food that makes me feel better, is mashed potatoes. Specifically those my husband makes - mashed, not whipped - and topped off with unsalted organic butter, salt, and lots of freshly ground pepper. YUM